What topics are off-limits?

[summersigh]

We've enjoyed each of our HAL cruises .... BUT .... that being said ...

 

If we were new to cruising and had just booked our first HAL cruise, after reading this thread, we be running to the TA to cancel as soon as possible. The vibe on this thread feels very foreign compared to the warmth one actually feels aboard the ships.:(

 

It would appear, from reading the thread, that on HAL almost any subject is greatly offensive to someone, that one should never ask any general question such as "where are your from" to attempt some commonality, that one should keep it to themselves in the LIDO because others don't want to be bothered by you, that acceptable dinner conversation runs along the "pass the salt" lines.

 

I'm sure I'm influenced by being southern where we speak to and "hello" everyone. I do realize and understand those who cruise often have their pet peeves aboard a ship. But, I feel like this thread evolved into something that would totally turn a newbie off.

 

Just my humble opinion....:rolleyes:

[Randyk47]

We've enjoyed each of our HAL cruises .... BUT .... that being said ...

 

If we were new to cruising and had just booked our first HAL cruise, after reading this thread, we be running to the TA to cancel as soon as possible. The vibe on this thread feels very foreign compared to the warmth one actually feels aboard the ships.:(

 

It would appear, from reading the thread, that on HAL almost any subject is greatly offensive to someone, that one should never ask any general question such as "where are your from" to attempt some commonality, that one should keep it to themselves in the LIDO because others don't want to be bothered by you, that acceptable dinner conversation runs along the "pass the salt" lines.

 

I'm sure I'm influenced by being southern where we speak to and "hello" everyone. I do realize and understand those who cruise often have their pet peeves aboard a ship. But, I feel like this thread evolved into something that would totally turn a newbie off.

 

Just my humble opinion....:rolleyes:

 

Have to agree that I'm actually a bit surprised at some of the responses here. Over 21 years of cruising and meeting probably dozens if not hundreds of people I think I could count the few minor awkward moments on one hand if that many. I've always thought of and treated our cruises as a gathering of kindred souls in a poetic sense. Maybe it's just me.......

Edited May 17, 2015 by Randyk47

[Tampa Girl]

We've enjoyed each of our HAL cruises .... BUT .... that being said ...

 

If we were new to cruising and had just booked our first HAL cruise, after reading this thread, we be running to the TA to cancel as soon as possible. The vibe on this thread feels very foreign compared to the warmth one actually feels aboard the ships.:(

 

It would appear, from reading the thread, that on HAL almost any subject is greatly offensive to someone, that one should never ask any general question such as "where are your from" to attempt some commonality, that one should keep it to themselves in the LIDO because others don't want to be bothered by you, that acceptable dinner conversation runs along the "pass the salt" lines.

 

I'm sure I'm influenced by being southern where we speak to and "hello" everyone. I do realize and understand those who cruise often have their pet peeves aboard a ship. But, I feel like this thread evolved into something that would totally turn a newbie off.

 

Just my humble opinion....:rolleyes:

 

Agree! Reading some of these posts makes me wonder why some people choose a cruise ship for vacation if they so dislike communing with others.

[Cruising-along]

This is true!!:) Hopefully no one is scowling on vacation though ;)

 

Sad to say, I've seen a few scowls -- not every cruise -- but when I do I avoid them!

 

Agree! Reading some of these posts makes me wonder why some people choose a cruise ship for vacation if they so dislike communing with others.

 

Agree! Or just get room service. :D

[taxmantoo]

Say... Wasn't the last Canadian team to win Lord Stanley's cup the 1993 Montreal Canadiens?

 

Absolutely right ! BUT the last so-called "American" team to win the Cup, the Los Angeles Kings 2013-14, was composed of 20 Canadians and 5 Americans, not to mention the entire Canadian coaching staff. :D

[cruisemom42]

I have to admit that reading threads like this depresses me. I will probably now stop to wonder, the next time I am conversing with someone over dinner, whether they are inwardly seething or offended by some unintentional question I've asked. :cool:

[sapper1]

Agree! Reading some of these posts makes me wonder why some people choose a cruise ship for vacation if they so dislike communing with others.

 

I love communing with others and I have met some wonderful people through Cruise Critic and meet and greets.

 

Before one lengthy cruise we were asked by a couple on our roll call to be their dining companions. Because we had a good feel for them via the roll call we agreed and spent a remarkable 27 days dining with them and their friends. I only regret that they live in Australia and we probably won't see them again.

 

I have met a few friends through CC meet and greets that I converse with daily and have done repeat cruises with. I wish we all lived closer.

 

I just don't like being thrust into a forced dining situation with strangers. I love meeting people around the ship but if it is not a good fit at that time, it is easy to extricate oneself gracefully. That is not an option when you are stuck with a Chatty Cathy in the Lido. You have to endure your meal and then leave.

Edited May 17, 2015 by sapper1

[Ky Colonel]

We've enjoyed each of our HAL cruises .... BUT .... that being said ...

 

If we were new to cruising and had just booked our first HAL cruise, after reading this thread, we be running to the TA to cancel as soon as possible. The vibe on this thread feels very foreign compared to the warmth one actually feels aboard the ships.:(

 

It would appear, from reading the thread, that on HAL almost any subject is greatly offensive to someone, that one should never ask any general question such as "where are your from" to attempt some commonality, that one should keep it to themselves in the LIDO because others don't want to be bothered by you, that acceptable dinner conversation runs along the "pass the salt" lines.

 

I'm sure I'm influenced by being southern where we speak to and "hello" everyone. I do realize and understand those who cruise often have their pet peeves aboard a ship. But, I feel like this thread evolved into something that would totally turn a newbie off.

 

Just my humble opinion....:rolleyes:

 

Well said, summersigh!!!

 

Rod

[zerbot]

Apparently, cabanas are on the forbidden list now. :D

[Lottie Linda]

Apparently, cabanas are on the forbidden list now. :D

 

And cabana boys? What about cabana boys?

[Tights]

Just taken the link to this thread off my following list, it's sickening me, my hubby is worried about dining with other people now as I am a friendly talkative

Inquisitive person and would surely upset one of these tiresome individuals.

[Lottie Linda]

Just taken the link to this thread off my following list, it's sickening me, my hubby is worried about dining with other people now as I am a friendly talkative

Inquisitive person and would surely upset one of these tiresome individuals.

 

Yeah... If you speak you'll probably upset someone. Not that that is your problem. Most people are nice. There is much to do and see, and not as much time for conversation as you might think.

 

I thought my first cruise would be like those old-timey movies set on an ocean liner, where they have time to discuss politics, fall in love, and solve a murder. It's not.

 

During a week long cruise, I think I converse with fellow passengers a total of two hours. Total.

[cruisr]

And, that is why DH and I dine at a table for 2.

 

You beat me to it. When Dh and I cruise it's always table for two. When I cruise solo it's a table for one. This thread sums up why!

 

I have absolutely no problem with being asked any of the questions mentioned in this thread if the person asking really wants an answer, Don't ask me a question unless you want a truthful answer. I abhor political correctness

Edited May 18, 2015 by cruisr

[POA1]

I'm not a firm believer in predefined "acceptable topics for conversation." It's just too limiting. If you're a good listener and you pay attention, you can usually tell when you are veering into turbulence. When that happens, just change to something lighter. If that doesn't work, slap the offending party sharply on the back and scream, "Pull up, man! Pull up! You're headed right into the mountain!"

 

At that point, everyone assumes you're crazy and you can dine in peace.

[GUT2407]

The only tabu subjects are those which would make another person at the table uncomfortable.

 

For myself, I am perfectly happy discussing sex, politics, religion, healthcare or almost any other subject at the dinner table.

 

I have only one absolute no-go subject: "What did you pay for your cabin?"

 

 

Got it.

[GUT2407]

A big problem is that so many people are so self centred they can't tell when someone else is uncomfortable with a topic.

 

I generally have no trouble with any topic and enjoy some of those mentioned here as taboo.

 

However if a topic, [even one that seems inoffensive] comes up and I sense that others are uncomfortable I'll make every effort to change the topic.

 

I have seen some people get very uncomfortable over what seem to me inconsequential issues later to find that the issue is for them sensitive for what seem, to me anyway, very valid.

[ellieanne]

I refuse to answer any direct, specific questions not from my husband or a government official about my income or what I do with my money. I also refuse to discuss my weight or perceived health with people who are not immediate family or certified, qualified, medical professionals.

 

Other than that, I can carry on a civil conversation about just about anything. There are things I would prefer not to discuss, but I can carry on polite dinner-table or elevator conversations on just about any topic.

[GUT2407]

It is amazing the range of topics you may discuss at the dining table if you are careful how you say it. Tricky topics include; cricket, offside rule and the class system.

 

I find the range expands as the cruise continues and set diners get confident each other. It is helpful when you have got a mix of people who do not wish to push their opinions on others but are interested in finding out about the rest of the world, cultures etc. I just find people interesting, on our last cruise around the British Isles there were two American couples of different ages and a British Couple, myself and my daughter (11). British guy was a professional footballer and during discussions with my daughter he punched her on the bicep, like footballers do with each other, making her say ouch. I explained that's how guys are and he thinks of you as a peer. She was all right with it and as an aside a competition developed during the cruise to get to MDR first and nab their seats while they did the same. All good fun. It had been discussed early and agreed that all the seats were unallocated and moving round in couples was encouraged. This is a good issue to bring up on day one.

 

Later on in the cruise they booked a world sector which was interesting as all the Americans were thinking of booking. At one point everyone else, apart from me brought out images of their houses or holiday homes which surprised me but I don't have a smart phone. The younger American guy said he lived in a virtual world at home too. This seemed beyond the comprehension of the British lady. Apparently as he explained he designed and paid for stuff virtually and lived in a community on line. We found this hilariously funny but very interesting especially as it was not understood all round. Everybody seemed very comfortable with each other I think it was because no one was pushing an opinion or comparing what is the best...

 

There is not much I would not discuss over dinner but you have to be a bit careful how you say things and how they are received.

 

Regards John

 

 

Nah Crickets fine as long as the aussies are winning the ashes.:D:D

[elruth]

That's why my husband and I eat dinner at a table for two!

[Swivel Guts]

There are many topics that would be off limits, but what about 'conversation starters'?

 

Such as: Is the media in your country as brain-dead as in Australia?

 

 

[summersigh]

Just taken the link to this thread off my following list, it's sickening me, my hubby is worried about dining with other people now as I am a friendly talkative

Inquisitive person and would surely upset one of these tiresome individuals.

 

Tights .... We've sailed a number of times on a HAL, Carnival and Royal. As I said earlier, I'm a southerner and we talk to everybody - even in the grocery store line. :) We've never been uncomfortable at our ship's dinner table (fixed 6 or 8 persons fixed dining) or otherwise but we have had many, many nice conversations and have met many, many nice people. Would we be BFFs with all of them at home? Probably not. But we have enjoyed meeting them and hearing their stories while aboard.

 

We're retired, empty nesters :D ... we have a "table for 2" most nights at home. We like sharing on a cruise. In fact, sharing dinner with our tablemates is one of the things we like most about cruising. I feel like you'll enjoy the cruise regardless of what you've read from some here. :)

[john watson]

You can always put things back on an even keel by being positive and saying nice things. On my last cruise a couple of elderly ladies were travelling together and unfortunately one fell over in rough seas making her nose bridge swell up, smashed her spectacles and gave her an enormous black eye. It looked hideously painful and discoloured. We were on a table of six and they were facing each other in the centre pair of chairs. Her companion held up her glass of red wine and said in a loud voice "this wine is just like your face Carol". So before things might have gone a bit pear shaped I quickly retorted "Are you saying your wine is very sweet Susan?" It seemed to calm the situation and prevent an escalation of hostilities.

 

Lol John

Edited May 18, 2015 by john watson

[kazu]

I'm not a firm believer in predefined "acceptable topics for conversation." It's just too limiting. If you're a good listener and you pay attention, you can usually tell when you are veering into turbulence. When that happens, just change to something lighter. If that doesn't work, slap the offending party sharply on the back and scream, "Pull up, man! Pull up! You're headed right into the mountain!"

 

At that point, everyone assumes you're crazy and you can dine in peace.

 

A big problem is that so many people are so self centred they can't tell when someone else is uncomfortable with a topic.

 

I generally have no trouble with any topic and enjoy some of those mentioned here as taboo.

 

However if a topic, [even one that seems inoffensive] comes up and I sense that others are uncomfortable I'll make every effort to change the topic.

 

I have seen some people get very uncomfortable over what seem to me inconsequential issues later to find that the issue is for them sensitive for what seem, to me anyway, very valid.

 

agree with both of you. We are really happy to discuss anything as long as no one is bound and determined to prove their point or pushes a question that we have indicated we are not comfortable with.

 

It really depends upon the tablemates. On the Prinsendam, we had wonderful table mates who discussed just about anything and it was all on an objective level looking for opinions, etc.

 

We have also had tablemates that pontificated. They don't listen and don't get hints. Or the person who thinks they are better than you because they have been on 60 cruises and name drop. The only solution for those is to change tables or dine at a table for two.

 

I think that's what some are referring to here.

[sapper1]

Just taken the link to this thread off my following list, it's sickening me, my hubby is worried about dining with other people now as I am a friendly talkative

Inquisitive person and would surely upset one of these tiresome individuals.

 

My husband and I are very considerate of others on board. We don't hog deck chairs, we hold elevator doors, we don't object to sharing a Lido table, we aren't noisy or disruptive, (okay there was that one night in the Piano Bar when I was led astray by a few Sailaway CC members;) ) we interact pleasantly with the delightful crew and treat them with respect, we are quiet on our balcony so as not to disturb others and we just generally try not to annoy anyone.

 

Now I read here that we are tiresome and sickening because we sit and mind our own business while we eat our breakfast. Perfection is so elusive doncha think?

[LMaxwell]

I wouldn't call this off limits, but it sure does get grating after 10 seconds, let alone day after day; hearing about cruise line status, or how the cruise line you are both currently on do things subpar compared to other cruise lines. It's just energy draining.

 

Things I do enjoy discussing; different places people have traveled and what they have done there. Enjoy discussing hobbies.