Craziest thing you admit to OR actually heard someone complaining about on a cruise?

[geoherb]

The ones I remember most vividly ate lunch with us one day. Nothing on that cruise was as good as the one they had taken on a Carnival ship. They complained about almost every aspect of the cruise. At lunch, the matzoh balls in the soup were too small. In addition, the ribs (described as being in a spicy barbecue sauce) were too spicy. I thought everything tasted great. I was glad we only ate with them the one time.

[gwsster]

I'm sure I've seen worse in the past by my most recent memory is of a 2.5 hour marathon MDR breakfast courtesy of a trio of women haranguing the poor waiter with truly sub-trivial utter nonsense. I did my best to tune much of it out but I do recall a lengthy debate over whether the French Toast was sprinkled with cinnamon or cinnamon sugar. This went on so long that eventually someone walked into the dining room and asked if lunch had started.

 

And I will confess to an outrageous act of pique on my own part. I was relaxing in the spa when my cabinmate had me fetched by one of the attendants. The front desk had been calling the cabin (and possibly paging me, which cannot be heard in the spa) to bring my passport for inspection. This had been an ongoing issue on this Northern Europe cruise with only 200 non-UK/EU passengers onboard; whether the purser needed to hold passports for inspection or we Yanks needed to bring them ashore for a face-to-face changed with every port. When I presented my damp and chlorine-scented self to the desk they offered no apology, stating they were absolutely sure our steward had left a note in our cabin the night before with instructions to return our passports that morning. Well, I nearly lost it--but remained calm enough to demand that I be refunded the value of one day's spa pass (I had bought the pass for the full cruise). Which of course netted me the are-you-a-complete-idiot stare from the purser on duty who had been called out to deal with me. I wisely walked away and sanity was restored.

 

 

Why do they need to keep your passport?

[ducklite]

Why do they need to keep your passport?

 

 

It's common on Euro itineraries where you'll be going in and out of the EU so that customs and immigration can quickly clear the ship. If you need it to rent a car for example, you just get it from guest services in the morning and return it when you return to the ship.

[legaljen1969]

Love it.

 

I have two instances that come to mind.

 

#1 on MSC Lirica a few years back. We had just gotten our MSC Club Cards and you needed to go to Guest Services to have them activated so you would get your points. We did this as soon as we got on the ship. Well, we were next in line. The three Matrons in front of us were finagling trying to get a suite. They had booked an inside for three and were complaining that the beds were not large enough. The beds in the brochure showed King sized beds and their Hotel in Fort Lauderdale had THREE Queen Sized beds for them. They needed three Queen Sized beds in their Inside Cabin. When they were dismissed without any upgrades, and I made it to the desk, I told the Purser that they had done well. She activated my card and thanked me. (bottle of champagne was sent to the room)

 

#2. The morning after the Hypnotist show, my wife decided to do some laundry. The Casino was closed, so I went to Guest Services to get a roll of quarters. At the Guest Services was the "Star" of the Hypnotist's show (passenger not the Hypnotist) complaining that the Hypnotist gave him a post-hypnotic suggestion to be nice to his wife and friends. He said he proceeded to buy expensive drinks for his friends and himself, and a diamond watch for his wife AFTER the Show. And it was all because of the Post-Hypnotic Suggestion. He wanted GS to take the $2500 bar tab and $3000 watch off his account.

 

The guy must have been a real piece of work for the hypnotist to have to hypnotize him to encourage him to be nice to his wife. A $3000 watch is pretty darn nice, but my guess is the hypnotist probably saw him being a jerk and decided to plant some subliminal niceness messages.

 

Surely it wasn't the fruits of that $2500 bar bill encouraging him to keep going. LOL

[legaljen1969]

A few years back-- not certain which cruise or ship--

 

I can't wait to have this problem someday. :)

[julie3fan]

You and me both!

[Crazy4Cruz'n]

My experience occurred when we were waiting to get into an evening show. The doors were closed holding all passengers outside of the venue when a cruise employee came out & announced that they were going to have to cancel the show due to the motor burning out on the moving stage.

 

People were disappointed, but my DH & I thought it was pretty funny when an adult (at least we thought she was an adult - LOL), about 30-something, said "That's not fair!!!" - just like a 5 year old. To this day we use this statement, jokingly, when something doesn't go our way.

[RW20]

This thread is awesome! I have been reading thesestoriesout to my husband

[port msp]

"There ain't any whales out there, I looked." Heard in an elevator on our 2011 Alaska cruise. The woman was in a huff about it. I was feeling helpful, so I asked how long she'd been looking. She said "a little while". I told her that if she picked a spot on an upper deck and watched the sea for an hour, I'd almost guarantee she'd see a whale. (I'd just been on our balcony for less than an hour and had seen several, one breaching) She said she didn't have time for that. :rolleyes:

 

2015 Reflection- BLU for breakfast- "That's not what I wanted!" Old guy who angrily sent his food back, continuously. No matter what they brought, he didn't like it. The waiter just rolled with the punches.

[happy cruzer]

In the buffet on the last morning of the cruise there was a lady sitting loudly complaining to her group that "nothing tastes good on this ship, she was tired of all the food everywhere that didn't taste good" and on and on - while she ate piece after piece of bacon from a plate of about 40 pieces.

[GUT2407]

"There ain't any whales out there, I looked." Heard in an elevator on our 2011 Alaska cruise. The woman was in a huff about it. I was feeling helpful, so I asked how long she'd been looking. She said "a little while". I told her that if she picked a spot on an upper deck and watched the sea for an hour, I'd almost guarantee she'd see a whale. (I'd just been on our balcony for less than an hour and had seen several, one breaching) She said she didn't have time for that. :rolleyes:

 

2015 Reflection- BLU for breakfast- "That's not what I wanted!" Old guy who angrily sent his food back, continuously. No matter what they brought, he didn't like it. The waiter just rolled with the punches.

 

 

She expected them to have Whales on call.

 

The staff are fantastic, I wouldn't last a day.

[GUT2407]

How about

 

"I ordered black coffee" PAX

 

"That is black coffee" Crew

 

"What's this white stuff on top" PAX

 

"That's the Crema madam" Crew

 

"Black coffee don't have no creama" PAX

 

This from someone who claimed to be a chef, and a former Barrista

 

 

Crema is the initial light/tawny colored liquid that comes out during an espresso extraction. It is what causes that 'Guinness effect' that folks sometimes reference.

[GUT2407]

Or the dear lady who ordered her steak well-done, we all heard her. Then when it was delivered insisted that she wanted rare. The Waiter ddn't bat an eye, as I said before I wouldn't last an hour.

[ducklite]

How about

 

"I ordered black coffee" PAX

 

"That is black coffee" Crew

 

"What's this white stuff on top" PAX

 

"That's the Crema madam" Crew

 

"Black coffee don't have no creama" PAX

 

This from someone who claimed to be a chef, and a former Barrista

 

 

In her defense, if she ordered black coffee, what she got was not what she ordered. Black coffee is black coffee. There is no foam, crema, froth, no dairy products at all, and no espresso either.

 

If I am not on a cruise ship that primarily caters to Americans or in a restaurant in the US or Canada I make sure to order "coffee Americana" or "filter coffee" depending on where I am to make sure I get what I want. Or I just stick with tea, as it can be difficult to get coffee the way I like it outside if the U.S. and Canada. Did have a surprisingly good cup in a small cafe in Paris. Still to find a reasonably good Cafe Americana in Rome. :)

Edited April 9, 2015 by ducklite

[martincath]

Your expectations of a Caffè/Café Americano are incorrect DL - it's a standard espresso with hot water added to approximate filter coffee strength, so while the crema is diluted by the added size it will always be present unless physically removed. Even Starbucks makes it that way - the Roman baristas are doing it right, just not the way you think it should be...

 

Supposedly because US GIs in Europe didn't like how strong espresso was, baristas started adding water to them to make it more like 'Regular Joe' coffee.

 

Plus of course espresso is still coffee - so unless she specified drip, she got exactly what she asked for (in fact one could argue that since an espresso virtually always uses a very dark roast and delivers a more concentrated product than drip, a 'black' espresso is a more accurate colour description than 'black' filter coffee which is usually medium brown...)

Edited April 9, 2015 by martincath
spelling

[notentirelynormal]

If I'm a cruise ship and I order black coffee, I expect it to be black coffee. Off the ship is a whole different issue but this lady was on the ship so I'm with her. Black is black and I have never had to specify otherwise when I order my coffee.

[GottaKnowWhen]

The ones I remember most vividly ate lunch with us one day. Nothing on that cruise was as good as the one they had taken on a Carnival ship. They complained about almost every aspect of the cruise. At lunch, the matzoh balls in the soup were too small. In addition, the ribs (described as being in a spicy barbecue sauce) were too spicy. I thought everything tasted great. I was glad we only ate with them the one time.

 

My wife and I were having lunch in the MDR, upper level, off to the side, beside one of the windows. Not in an area where they were actively seating people. So we had 5-10 minutes before another couple was seated next to us. Meanwhile we had ordered our lunch. The lady looked at the menu. "Ewww! Cold blueberry soup! What could they possibly be thinking!?! What bizarre thing are they going to think of next?!?" They then ordered hot dogs and french fries.

 

I said nothing and, a few minutes later when our food was served, I thoroughly enjoyed the blueberry soup.

[GUT2407]

The Crema is a bi product of extracting coffee from coffee beans not a dairy product.

 

A black coffee is espresso with hot water added.

[SteveH2508]

A black coffee is a plain coffee without milk or cream (I won't even mention the other crap that gets added to coffee as a substitute for milk:eek:).

 

If coffee is made with pressurised steam (e.g. espresso you will get the crema), if made by dripping or in a cafetiere (French press) you will not get the crema.

 

It is not rocket science.

[gooch47]

A woman sitting on a staircase with her art supplies taking up 3/4 of the step complaining that a group of Japanese tourists were talking too loud and interfering with her artistic expression. She was copying the picture on the landing.

[papcx]

It is not rocket science.

 

 

Have you seen some of those expresso machines?

 

Seems pretty complex to me. [emoji1]

[OzKiwiJJ]

I

If I am not on a cruise ship that primarily caters to Americans or in a restaurant in the US or Canada I make sure to order "coffee Americana" or "filter coffee" depending on where I am to make sure I get what I want. Or I just stick with tea, as it can be difficult to get coffee the way I like it outside if the U.S. and Canada. Did have a surprisingly good cup in a small cafe in Paris. Still to find a reasonably good Cafe Americana in Rome. :)

 

Unfortunately for those of us that prefer espresso, the two cruise lines that I have been on so far only seem to know how to make "Cafe Americano" even though they are operating in the Australian region at the time. Australian espresso is most like Italian coffee as the coffee culture has developed from Italians who migrated to Australia during the miidle of the 20th century.

 

Un cafe in France is a longer pull (around 50ml) than an espresso in Italy, which is at most 30ml, and often less - in Australia we'd call that a ristretto.

 

I aslo tend to stick to tea when travelling as it can be difficult to get coffee the way I like it. Unfortunately it can be difficult to get tea the way I like it in the USA, which is a real problem for me.:(

[OzKiwiJJ]

Have you seen some of those expresso machines?

 

Seems pretty complex to me. [emoji1]

 

They're actually very easy once you get used to them. The real trick is getting the grind right - you have to adjust for the freshness of the beans, the humidity of the day, and the blend.

 

Most of the espresso machines on cruise lines are automatic. Although they do have separate grinders, once they have added the ground coffee to the portafilter they just press a button, which dispenses a fixed amount of water, which may not be the correct amount for that grind of blend on that day, and may not be what the customer wants ie Americano rather than espresso.

Edited April 10, 2015 by OzKiwiJJ

[OzKiwiJJ]

The Crema is a bi product of extracting coffee from coffee beans not a dairy product.

 

A black coffee is espresso with hot water added.

 

Actually the hot water should be placed in the cup first then the espresso extracted on top of that. :D

Edited April 10, 2015 by OzKiwiJJ

[ducklite]

Unfortunately for those of us that prefer espresso, the two cruise lines that I have been on so far only seem to know how to make "Cafe Americano" even though they are operating in the Australian region at the time. Australian espresso is most like Italian coffee as the coffee culture has developed from Italians who migrated to Australia during the miidle of the 20th century.

 

Un cafe in France is a longer pull (around 50ml) than an espresso in Italy, which is at most 30ml, and often less - in Australia we'd call that a ristretto.

 

I aslo tend to stick to tea when travelling as it can be difficult to get coffee the way I like it. Unfortunately it can be difficult to get tea the way I like it in the USA, which is a real problem for me.:(

 

How do you like your tea?