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Jeans. In Specialy Restaurants

mamaofami

By mamaofami,
in Holland America Line

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Cruising-along

Cruising-along

Posted
Posted
...

 

A comment suggesting that someone does not respect their spouse because he or she wears jeans is totally out in left field where I live. Unless of course the world has passed you by over the past 20 years. My spouse could care less if I am casual nor does she particularly want me to get dressed up for her. I sense that some people assume that every spouse wants their significant other dressed up for formal night in the MDR and that failure to do so is 'letting the side down' as it were. Some may think this but I suspect for many it is the farthest things from their collective minds.

 

Exactly, well said. I live in the Seattle area. It's very casual here on the west coast and I like it that way. As long as the person is neat, clean, and friendly, that's what matters to me and to anyone I know in this area (including my Dad, who is 101!)

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RocketMan275

RocketMan275

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Absolutely. For instance, where I live in Western Canada I can see far more people wearing jeans and shorts at my spouses church service than we would ever see at a similar one in Toronto.

 

Not only that, if you look around you can see the demographcs in the congregation.. Older grey hairs (like me) are often in suits. I'm not. It goes down to maybe 55 when you will see sports jackets, though often with jeans. Under 40 is primarily very casual with jeans being the majority. Especially in winter. Same for women. Cannot remember when I saw little children dressed up like they used do years ago. In our location it really comes down to age and to the custom in our area. I attend once, maybe twice a year. With one exception for the 'old one, I cannot remember ever seeing any of the other ministers in a suit let along a shirt and tie. And certainly never in a gown. Most often jeans, casual shirt, and a jacket or sweater.

 

That may not be how it is in other areas but this hardly makes it wrong or disrespectful as some might suggest. Just a change in what people wear. Nothing more, nothing less. And jeans are no longer simply work clothing. They moved into the realm of fashion years ago.

 

A comment suggesting that someone does not respect their spouse because he or she wears jeans is totally out in left field where I live. Unless of course the world has passed you by over the past 20 years. My spouse could care less if I am casual nor does she particularly want me to get dressed up for her. I sense that some people assume that every spouse wants their significant other dressed up for formal night in the MDR and that failure to do so is 'letting the side down' as it were. Some may think this but I suspect for many it is the farthest things from their collective minds. Just because it may be that way in Boston does not mean that is the way it is in East Rubber Boot. How boring it would be if we all dressed the same. The busybodies would not have anything to tut tut tut about.

 

The comment about not respecting one's spouse is a variation of a popular comment that takes several forms.

One form is "If you wear blue jeans, you are not being respectful of other passengers."

Another is "If you wear blue jeans, you are not being respectful of the Captain."

It is nothing more than an attempt to shame those who do not choose to dress up.

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SetAnOpenCourse

SetAnOpenCourse

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...

There is nothing negative here about age or aging.

 

I'm not sure which post that statement may be responding to, but I did not think there was negativity in your earlier post. I simply (and respectfully) think it is incorrect regarding the age association. I say this as a youngish cruiser, although I'm not the type who will be offended by it later on in life, either.🙂

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JRG

JRG

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I'm not sure which post that statement may be responding to, but I did not think there was negativity in your earlier post. I simply (and respectfully) think it is incorrect regarding the age association. I say this as a youngish cruiser, although I'm not the type who will be offended by it later on in life, either.🙂
!

 

No you are fine, it certainly wasn't anything you said. I could see a situation where somebody might misinterpret my meaning.

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navybankerteacher

navybankerteacher

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I have a dear friend who would love to dress up on Gala Nights but her husband refuses to wear a jacket or a tie ....... he uses the old line "I wore them my whole working life, why would I wear one now?". I always used to reply "Because it would make your wife HAPPY".

 

They either get it or they don't.

 

I think this point is relevant. Passengers have no obligation to cater to the tastes of fellow passengers - but l am inclined to think that the notion going a bit out of your way because your spouse would appreciate your making the effort is worth considering -- and is in no way comparable to "showing respect" for other passengers, the captain, or anyone else.

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JRG

JRG

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The comment about not respecting one's spouse is a variation of a popular comment that takes several forms.

One form is "If you wear blue jeans, you are not being respectful of other passenger rs."

Another is "If you wear blue jeans, you are not being respectful of the Captain."

It is nothing more than an attempt to shame those who do not choose to dress up.

o

 

I'm going to be your friend and let you in on a secret. Nobody calls them blue jeans any more.

I'm also having difficulty with your logic. But you have a right to post so I'm ok if you're ok.

What I mean is that it seems like you just made up 2 'variations or forms' to fit your argument.

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VennDiagram

VennDiagram

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Posted
I think this point is relevant. Passengers have no obligation to cater to the tastes of fellow passengers - but l am inclined to think that the notion going a bit out of your way because your spouse would appreciate your making the effort is worth considering -- and is in no way comparable to "showing respect" for other passengers, the captain, or anyone else.

 

My husband can wear whatever he wishes, whenever he wishes. He makes "the effort" (your words) of showing his love and respect for me and our family every day by his deeds, not his clothing choices.

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navybankerteacher

navybankerteacher

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My husband can wear whatever he wishes, whenever he wishes. He makes "the effort" (your words) of showing his love and respect for me and our family every day by his deeds, not his clothing choices.

 

Of course he can - and if it is fine with you: no problem. I was referencing a particular situation where the wife wanted the husband to dress up a bit, and he refused. Some people show respect by paying attention to their partner's wishes - and it is not unreasonable to think that refusing to pay attention to one's partner's wishes --- even if it is about something as trivial as what to wear when going out to dinner - is failing to show respect.

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JRG

JRG

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Posted (edited)
Of course he can - and if it is fine with you: no problem. I was referencing a particular situation where the wife wanted the husband to dress up a bit, and he refused. Some people show respect by paying attention to their partner's wishes - and it is not unreasonable to think that refusing to pay attention to one's partner's wishes --- even if it is about something as trivial as what to wear when going out to dinner - is failing to show respect.

 

You are cutting your own tow-line. You are qualifying the situation by saying "and if it is fine with you no problem". This fine lady is saying that her husband can wear whatever he wants, whether it is fine or not with her. You are trying to trying to qualify it to agree with your values.

 

You have different values, you honor and respect your wifes wishes by wearing what she wants you to wear, other posters have more balanced approaches where the wife does not dictate what DH wears based on 'respect'.

 

This is an important distinction.

Edited by JRG
typo
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navybankerteacher

navybankerteacher

Posted
Posted
You are cutting your own tow-line. You are qualifying the situation by saying "and if it is fine with you no problem". This fine lady is saying that her husband can wear whatever he wants, whether it is fine or not with her. You are trying to trying to qualify it to agree with your values.

 

You have different values, you honor and respect your wifes wishes by wearing what she wants you to wear, other posters have more balanced approaches where the wife does not dictate what DH wears based on 'respect'.

 

This is an important distinction.

 

Give it up - at least read what I wrote - I was not talking about a wife who did not care what her husband wore; I was referring to a post about a wife whose husband refused to comply with her request to dress it up a bit.

 

And it should never be a matter of dictating behavior, rather a matter of simply paying attention and giving a damn.

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JRG

JRG

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Give it up - at least read what I wrote - I was not talking about a wife who did not care what her husband wore; I was referring to a post about a wife whose husband refused to comply with her request to dress it up a bit.

 

And it should never be a matter of dictating behavior, rather a matter of simply paying attention and giving a damn.

 

Okay, I can see how you may have had a different meaning, its in the semantics and your grammar and can be read two ways. You really could have just let her statement stand as it was though, without commenting further. I don't think she was trying to put you in your place.

 

Please don't be rude with your language though that is not called for.

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iancal

iancal

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I would never be so presumptuous as to assume that I knew what someone else's spouse thinks of their partner's choice of attire or if he/she believed that the effort was indeed appreciated. Making an effort is a very loose term open to interpretation.

 

The very first time that we skipped the MDR and dined elsewhere was at my spouses suggestion. She did not want to bother nor did she believe that it was truly worth the effort. We had many opportunities to dress up for business events. The thought of doing it on a vacation started to pale for her.

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RocketMan275

RocketMan275

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Posted
o

 

I'm going to be your friend and let you in on a secret. Nobody calls them blue jeans any more.

I'm also having difficulty with your logic. But you have a right to post so I'm ok if you're ok.

What I mean is that it seems like you just made up 2 'variations or forms' to fit your argument.

 

Nothing made up. Both claims of disrespect have been made numerous times on Cruise Critic. Claiming 'disrespect' is a popular criticism of those who prefer a more casual dress.

 

FWIW, if one googles "blue jeans", one will get 13,300,000 hits. Evidently some still use the term.

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JRG

JRG

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Nothing made up. Both claims of disrespect have been made numerous times on Cruise Critic. Claiming 'disrespect' is a popular criticism of those who prefer a more casual dress.

 

FWIW, if one googles "blue jeans", one will get 13,300,000 hits. Evidently some still use the term.

 

With all due respect,

 

Those who prefer a more casual dress.......simply just prefer a more casual dress.....that's all

 

They do not hold up the "hey everybody...I'm claiming disrespect here" card. I think you are either making that up or trying to psycho-analyze the general population from some long-forgotten thread.

 

They just prefer a more casual dress....

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KroozNut

KroozNut

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With all due respect,

 

Those who prefer a more casual dress.......simply just prefer a more casual dress.....that's all

 

They do not hold up the "hey everybody...I'm claiming disrespect here" card. I think you are either making that up or trying to psycho-analyze the general population from some long-forgotten thread.

 

They just prefer a more casual dress....

 

Sorry, but RocketMan is right on this one. Claims of 'disrespect' to fellow passengers and/or the Captain have been made too many times to count on these boards over the years. They are common refrains made during discussions about this and related (hot) topics.

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