Ever have awful Table mates?

[mom says]

3 hours ago, K32682 said:

The consensus would seem to be a quite reasonable 15-20 minute interlude is appropriate for the tardy and missing in action after which ordering may commence.   If and when they do arrive is an apology or explanation expected? In the absence of either what is the appropriate response from the other diners?  A stern rebuke, gentle reproach, sarcastic remark, withering stare, shunning? 

We all have come to realize that you seem to relish any excuse for an unpleasant confrontation.  But really, were you raised by wolves? If you show up 15-20 minutes late  for dinner,  why would you not offer an apology  for your tardiness. An explanation is not required, but an apology for keeping everyone waiting is common decency. In the absence of a simple apology, the lack of a warm welcome should be the best you should expect. Sorry, but I doubt you'll get the verbal confrontation you're hoping for. Most people have more class than that.

[Aquahound]

12 hours ago, DarrenM said:

I wish there was a consensus on this topic. One minute I want a table for 2, then I think it would be good to meet new folk, and then I am back to wanting a table for 2.😩

 

 

Oh heck no...this and some other recent threads have only reassured my choice to remain at a 2-top.  

[ontheweb]

1 hour ago, cruisemom42 said:

 

I believe pelting the late-comers with hard rolls is an option that should not be overlooked.

 

But what if there is no butter to put on the rolls?

[CPT Trips]

5 hours ago, K32682 said:

The consensus would seem to be a quite reasonable 15-20 minute interlude is appropriate for the tardy and missing in action after which ordering may commence.   If and when they do arrive is an apology or explanation expected? In the absence of either what is the appropriate response from the other diners?  A stern rebuke, gentle reproach, sarcastic remark, withering stare, shunning? 

 

Well bless your heart.

[MicCanberra]

3 hours ago, ontheweb said:

 

????

[MicCanberra]

IMO, tardiness is arriving 5 minutes late, coming 15-20 minutes late is just rude.

[MicCanberra]

9 hours ago, MicCanberra said:

I think the point was (and you have proved it) is that cc members cannot agree on even the love of cruising.

 

4 hours ago, ontheweb said:

No, you misinterpreted what I wrote. What I was trying to convey was that even among the cruisecritic community there are those who no longer have a love of cruising.

Isn't that the point I tried to make.

[K32682]

4 hours ago, mom says said:

We all have come to realize that you seem to relish any excuse for an unpleasant confrontation.  But really, were you raised by wolves? If you show up 15-20 minutes late  for dinner,  why would you not offer an apology  for your tardiness. An explanation is not required, but an apology for keeping everyone waiting is common decency. In the absence of a simple apology, the lack of a warm welcome should be the best you should expect. Sorry, but I doubt you'll get the verbal confrontation you're hoping for. Most people have more class than that.

 

Mom, contrary to your opinion I was raised by parents who valued and taught punctuality.  I've worked in Japan where punctuality is a fundamental requirement of society.  I arrive on time. On those rare occasions I am late I apologize.  My questions were the length of time deemed suitable for diners to wait for the tardy, the response of the diners upon the arrival of the latecomers and whether an explanation or apology should be expected from THEM.   Do you have views on those questions?

 

 

 

Edited July 6, 2019 by K32682

[geoherb]

Here's how traditional dining worked for my cruise last week.

• First night: anytime dining for everyone
• Second night (first formal night): everyone showed up to our assigned table (two couples, solo woman, me)
• Third night: Everyone showed up again
• Fourth night: anytime dining again
• Fifth night (second formal night): only me
• Sixth night: only one couple (but I let everyone know on the third night that I would not be there)
• Seventh night: only me (but the solo woman let us know on the third night that she had reservations at Sabatini's for that night)

I found out on the sixth morning about the guy who had the flu and missed the last three nights. That was the night I was late to the dining room due to the captain's speech going on too long at the Captain's Circle party. The guy's wife said she waited outside to let us know but did not see any of us. I wish she had gone inside and let our waiters know since she was right there at the dining room.

 

As I said previously, I'll go with anytime dining if I sail solo again. We've also had flaky tablemates when we've sailed together as a couple, but it's not as bad eating together just the two of us as it is to eat alone at a large table.

 

[DarrenM]

If I was on a larger table I think it would be formal night I didn't turn up. As I certainly wouldn't "dress up'.

 

Definitely thinking table for 2 is beSt.😁

[julie3fan]

51 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

If I was on a larger table I think it would be formal night I didn't turn up. As I certainly wouldn't "dress up'.

 

Since you would know ahead of time it was formal night, would you alert your table mates the night before that you wouldn't be showing up?

[MicCanberra]

 

Agreed, some us of courtesy would be warranted.

[DarrenM]

I am more likely to turn up informal on formal night than just not turn up. 

 

Not sure what upsets folk more though.

 

Not letting folk know I am not coming or dressing inappropriately. 

 

Also not sure who decides what's inappropriate. I mean is a bathrobe acceptable?

[MicCanberra]

4 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

I am more likely to turn up informal on formal night than just not turn up. 

 

Not sure what upsets folk more though.

 

Not letting folk know I am not coming or dressing inappropriately. 

 

Also not sure who decides what's inappropriate. I mean is a bathrobe acceptable?

If you are eating in the bathroom perhaps.

IMO, formal nights should have men at least wearing a tuxedo or dark suit, collared shirt and tie (bow) and dark shoes, for the women a gown or dress with some dressy accessories. What people actually wear and what is accepted by the maitre' de may vary greatly. One reason I am glad some line have done away with formal nights altogether.

[OzKiwiJJ]

20 hours ago, K32682 said:

The consensus would seem to be a quite reasonable 15-20 minute interlude is appropriate for the tardy and missing in action after which ordering may commence.   If and when they do arrive is an apology or explanation expected? In the absence of either what is the appropriate response from the other diners?  A stern rebuke, gentle reproach, sarcastic remark, withering stare, shunning? 

On a three week cruise we did last year one couple at our table of 8 turned up late, usually 20-30 minutes, every night. They had a variety of excuses. Rolled eyes was the common table reaction but the couple didn't seem to notice. After a week or so the rest of us arrived on time one night and we all wanted to go to the show after dinner. We asked our waiters to serve us without waiting. We were on to our mains when the last couple arrived. They looked a bit shocked that we hadn't waited for them. We had time for a quick dessert then excused ourselves from the table. More shocked looks! After that they started to arrive a bit earlier, but still not on time like the rest of us. They just had to put up with us having already started our meals.

[DarrenM]

3 hours ago, MicCanberra said:

If you are eating in the bathroom perhaps.

IMO, formal nights should have men at least wearing a tuxedo or dark suit, collared shirt and tie (bow) and dark shoes, for the women a gown or dress with some dressy accessories. What people actually wear and what is accepted by the maitre' de may vary greatly. One reason I am glad some line have done away with formal nights altogether.

Never worn a bow tie in my life. And don't own a tuxedo and never will.

 

And I am utterly delighted cruise ships seem to be doing away with this outdated nonsense too.

 

[DarrenM]

And where do you fellas find the room in your cases for these dress shoes and suits?

 

 

[DarrenM]

It's only the female in my house that likes to play dress up thankfully.

 

Otherwise we would need 3 cases between us.😜

[Underwatr]

4 hours ago, MicCanberra said:

IMO, formal nights should have men at least wearing a tuxedo or dark suit, collared shirt and tie (bow) and dark shoes, for the women a gown or dress with some dressy accessories

It depends on the line, in my experience.

 

On Cunard, where a jacket is expect of men every night, I pack the complete set of formal wear. On HAL, where "Gala Night" (note that lines no longer use "formal") is more of a suggestion and in practice the passengers appear in anything from a nice collared shirt to full tuxedo, I default more to a blue blazer and tie with khaki trousers - essentially what I'd wear on a non-Gala night on Cunard. It's not full-on formal but it's comfortably among the norm of what other passengers are wearing.

 

Next summer we have a HAL Mediterranean cruise followed by a QM2 transatlantic crossing home. I'm trying to work through getting all that luggage to Venice and from Venice to Southampton somewhat affordably...

Edited July 7, 2019 by Underwatr

[Underwatr]

28 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

Otherwise we would need 3 cases between us.😜

Three is our normal cruise luggage load. One suitcase for each, plus a suit carrier for the formal wear that doesn't tolerate folding into a suitcase well.

[ontheweb]

31 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

It's only the female in my house that likes to play dress up thankfully.

 

Otherwise we would need 3 cases between us.😜

They still had formal nights when we started cruising. DW was much more excited about this than I was. In fact she bought material and made a dress for formal night.

 

Now, she is just as likely to want to eat in the buffet on the not so formal but dress up nights.

[babs135]

35 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

And where do you fellas find the room in your cases for these dress shoes and suits?

 

 

A little thought and it can be done. A dark suit, white shirt and (bow) tie plus 1 pair of 'proper' shoes. Suit jacket would double as a stand alone jacket and the trousers again stand alone. So you have the potential for 3 outfits from one suit. Dressing up (on Cunard) is half the fun. Definitely adds something to the atmosphere.

[K32682]

4 hours ago, DarrenM said:

I am more likely to turn up informal on formal night than just not turn up. 

 

Not sure what upsets folk more though.

 

Not letting folk know I am not coming or dressing inappropriately. 

 

Also not sure who decides what's inappropriate. I mean is a bathrobe acceptable?

 

Not letting people know should upset them more because it puts an onus on everyone to wait for a suitable period of time in case you do arrive.  Not dressing appropriately might irritate a few but it doesn't disrupt their schedule or impose a social obligation on them.

 

The decision of what's appropriate is not a consensus of your table mates. It is the purview of the maitre d and if he/she doesn't turn you away the opinions of those sitting at your table are irrelevant.  

 

 

[DarrenM]

1 hour ago, K32682 said:

 

Not letting people know should upset them more because it puts an onus on everyone to wait for a suitable period of time in case you do arrive.  Not dressing appropriately might irritate a few but it doesn't disrupt their schedule or impose a social obligation on them.

 

The decision of what's appropriate is not a consensus of your table mates. It is the purview of the maitre d and if he/she doesn't turn you away the opinions of those sitting at your table are irrelevant.  

 

 

I see your point.

 

I would be upset if I disrupted other folks meals by making then wait so I would avoid that.

 

I would most likely deliberately irritate them if I thought they were irritated by my choice of clothing.

 

Folk like that really need to get a grip.

[DarrenM]

1 hour ago, Underwatr said:

Three is our normal cruise luggage load. One suitcase for each, plus a suit carrier for the formal wear that doesn't tolerate folding into a suitcase well.

The thought of carting an extra suitcase around is just too much to bear. Especially when my wife's case will already weigh more than two overgrown hippos.

 

As well as her ridiculous need for hand luggage. 

 

The formal wear is getting left at the formal wear shop. 

 

Going on holiday is meant to fun