Reluctant Cruisers

[Tapi]

We’ve done two extended family cruises, three years apart. While I loved it, and I will cherish the memories forever, several family members weren’t too much into it, so they didn’t enjoy the cruises as much as I did. One of my brothers in law complained the entire time on both cruises. That was painful  to deal with. 

 

Even though we had some skeptics in the group, I was able to convince them to come along because the destinations were places they’d never been to before (Cuba and Alaska), and because we were celebrating milestones (including my dad’s 80th birthday). Otherwise, I would’ve never been able to convince all of them.

 

Long story short, cruising isn’t for everyone. As much as I love it, I have to accept that other people hate it. Even after taking these cruises, I couldn’t “convert” anyone. Those who didn’t like cruising before, still don’t like it afterwards. Sometimes it’s better to go by yourself. 

Edited October 3, 2019 by Tapi

[clo]

9 hours ago, martincath said:

'cruising together' can mean simply hanging out for a few meals while doing everything else by yourselves,

Excellent point!  We did a cruise with a little old lady friend who we felt duty bound to do everything with and it was a nightmare.  We DID set up that we would do our own thing at breakfast and she complained to her family afterwards that we left her alone all the time 😞

[lenquixote66]

13 hours ago, leaveitallbehind said:

Agree with lenquixote66 - we would be another couple who cruises frequently with people that we have met previously on board other ships.  In fact we are one of three couples cruising together over NYE, all of whom we met on board a cruise several years ago and have cruised with several times since.  In fact, although from different states, we have visited with both of them socially on more than one occasion. In fact one of those couples is coming this weekend to visit with us - and we were to their house over the summer.  We also have another land tour and cruise planned in June with these friends and others met on other cruises.

 

So go with an open attitude of meeting other people on board and maybe you will find yourself in similar circumstances.

 

(And Len - our visiting friends this weekend are from out your general way).

Coincidentally we have met and become good friends with 2 couples living in suburbs of Philadelphia.

 

[Winnigirl]

We've had cruises and vacations with family and friends in the past, and while none of them could be considered a disaster, we have over the years decided that we prefer to cruise alone.  We go on cruises to relax, and I am the type of person who is constantly worrying if the others are having a good time, or if Friend A seems unhappy with Friend B and how can I fix it.  That's not fun or relaxing.  We always meet many interesting and friendly people on our cruises - and have kept in touch with some after the cruise is done - and that is enough for us.  I won't say that I haven't looked with envy on wonderful (or so it seems) family reunions and sometimes wish we could be part of something like that - but we don't have a large family for one thing; and secondly, looks can be deceiving. 

 

[TNcruising02]

One of the best parts of cruising for me and my husband is getting away from it all and enjoying each other.  We can do what we what, when we want.  We aren't interrupted by other people's wants and needs.  It's great for our relationship to have what is truly "us" time.  While it would be a lot of fun to cruise with family members (and I hope to do it one day), we really enjoy our cruises with just the two of us.

While our kids were growing up, we never took a vacation with just the two of us.  We knew that one day they will be adults and have their own lives and wanted to make the most out of spending time as a family.  Now we are at a stage in life that we really enjoy focusing on each other.

Different strokes for different folks.  A lot of people love spending time in groups and that's great for them.  I think the advice from other posters of meeting people on cruises is a good one.  There are many opportunities to meet people who have the same interests as you do.

[navybankerteacher]

17 hours ago, mom says said:

We are like GTO Girl; we prefer to sail by ourselves. We have several friends who also enjoy cruising, but it wouldn't even occur to us to ask them to join us. As for those who don't cruise- that's their preference,  so it doesn't really matter why. It's not my place to try to change their minds.

This is our view as well.   While there are a few couples we know who might be fun to travel with, finding an itinerary and date ideal for all would be a stretch.  We all have our own lives, preferences, and ways of doing things - and trying to blend two sets seems a lot of unnecessary effort.

 

That said, once a couple we know booked the same cruise after hearing from us about it - and we did hang out a bit and shared a couple of excursions, but it wasn't really cruising as a group.

[leaveitallbehind]

1 hour ago, lenquixote66 said:

Coincidentally we have met and become good friends with 2 couples living in suburbs of Philadelphia.

 

 

...may be we will become one some day as well.

[cruisegirl1976]

4 hours ago, DarrenM said:

still rather take my dog

to each their own..  😉

[DirtyDawg]

20 hours ago, Dan M. said:

I am a bit envious of many people here who are cruising with a small group of family or friends. My wife & I have asked NUMEROUS people to consider going with us and have yet to find anyone who wants to give it a try.  I'm just curious if others have had similar experiences.  I don't know if people think it will be too upper class, too expensive, too boring or what but we are O-fer- in asking people to go with us.  Oh yeah, we BOTH take showers daily AND use deodorant so that's not the reason! 🙂

 

dlm

 

LOL!

Watch out what you wish for. We like cruising and so does my mother-in-law. So for her 80th birthday her whole family went on a cruise. This included all her children, spouses and all the grandkids. 

 

IT WAS PURE HE🏒🏒 ! (he double hockey sticks) 

 

You know, one of the bad family Thanksgivings dinners with your annoying brother and sister-in-law that never, ever, seems to end.😱

 

The only saving grace was it was only a four night cruise. I'd probably be in prison now if it was a seven nighter. 

 

[XBGuy]

Dan, don't be frustrated.  My best advice is to be open to new friendships--both in your hometown and when you are on a cruise.  Numerous posters on this thread have reported that they have met cruising partners while on a cruise.  Clearly, when you are on a cruise, you are surrounded by potential friends who are inclined to enjoy that experience.  I perfectly understand the fact that many people do not enjoy cruising or would not consider taking a cruise.  (You probably would not believe the length of the list of things that I do not enjoy or do not care to try.)  That's called free will.  I agree with posters who say it is risky to try to convince a reluctant person.

 

In another thread I think I saw that you will be on an cruise to Hawaii (over the holidays?) on the Star Princess.  Bon Voyage.  I think my coffee shop buddy is also on that cruise.  It's hard to keep up with his schedule.  He always has five or six cruises booked.  Mrs. XBGuy and I will be on the Star Princess January 13 for the same Hawaii itinerary.

[lenquixote66]

5 hours ago, leaveitallbehind said:

 

...may be we will become one some day as well.

If it is meant to be it shall.😊

[Sea Hag]

From time to time, I think it would be nice to cruise with friends or family, but it's probably true that we have more fun when it's only us. DH doesn't manage very well when it comes to waiting for people, and when we've gone places with others it seems we were always waiting around for them to get it all together.

[George C]

95 percent of our cruises are just us, occasionally we cruise with relatives and a few times with friends. 

[clo]

On 10/2/2019 at 4:42 PM, brillohead said:

I've met people on cruises and then cruised with them again at a later date.... that's the best of both worlds, IMO, because they already know how to cruise (you don't have to answer a bazillion questions) AND you already know that you enjoy their company on a cruise.  

This year's cruises for me include Symphony and Explorer with folks I met in 2016 (and cruised with again in 2018) and Mariner with folks I met in 2013 (and cruised with again in 2015), plus I met folks on Majesty last month that I can foresee cruising with again in the future.

I assume you arrange to cruise together again and that it's not a coincidence.

[lenquixote66]

We have cruised with family,with friends and with people we met on past cruises.”Variety is the spice of life.”

[SantaFeFan]

13 hours ago, K32682 said:

There are two possible reasons people are reluctant.  They don't want to travel with the people who are suggesting a cruise or they find the prospect of cruising unappealing.  If the people you are inviting are cruising on their own but decline your suggestion then it's about you.  If the people however have never cruised before then it's more likely that cruising simply doesn't interest them no matter how much you promote it.  There can be a lot not to like about cruising.

 

 

 

A 3rd reason is probably just as relevant - they don't want to, or cannot, spend so much money. Not everyone has enough extra money laying around to take expensive vacations. They may want to, but can't justify the cost at the time. 

Edited October 4, 2019 by SantaFeFan

[Kwaj girl]

We PAID for our extended family to join us on a 5-nt RCCL cruise from Bayonne  to Bermuda.   We paid for all except their bar bills and what they did ashore.  Did that twice.  No more.  Most enjoyed it but thank heaven I didn't  have to pay their bar bill.  The ones who didn't  enjoy it just were stay at home or "sit on a beach" type.

Edited October 4, 2019 by Kwaj girl

[GUT2407]

18 hours ago, DarrenM said:

I would rather take my dog

I’d rather take my dog than Mrs Gut. But then he wags his tail, not his finger.

[ducklite]

I'm not sure anyone in our families will ever cruise with us.  My husband has very few relatives that he's in any type of regular contact with, and cruising would not be the vacation of choice for any of them--most of them don't travel at all other than going to visit other relatives.

 

On my side, my brother and SIL will probably travel with us once their various family obligations have ended in 5-10 years.  My other brothers have zero desire to travel more than a couple of hours from home.  Maybe my sister and BIL might cruise with us down the road, but we're talking 10+ years from now--far too long into the future to even think about it.

 

We have friends who might cruise with us next year, it just depends on their employment situations as things get closer.  We have other friends who are already booked on the cruise we will be on.

[Nebr.cruiser]

We almost always cruise by ourselves, except for some family cruises.  We enjoy the time together and it is nice not to try to work around someone else's likes and dislikes, schedule and level of energy.

 

We do cruise with my sisters once a year and have done two cruises with sons and grandkids; another with just the sons and spouses coming up.

 

I find that many people wetalk to are very apprehensive and well, ignorant about cruising; all the media's overwrought reporting when there are problems doesn't help.  I've heard, oh, I'll get bored, I'm afraid I'll get seasick, I can't swim, I'm afraid to be where I can't see land, what about norovirus, what if the ship wrecks?  etc. etc.

 

I'd never try to persuade anyone to cruise, except for some gentle reasons we like it.  Friends finally persuaded their very reluctant elderly father to go on a family cruise; it was one of those 'disaster' cruises where the ship floated around for several days without power, ran out of food, etc.  Definitely was not a fun time!

Edited October 5, 2019 by Nebr.cruiser

[Roz]

26 minutes ago, Nebr.cruiser said:

I find that many people wetalk to are very apprehensive and well, ignorant about cruising; all the media's overwrought reporting when there are problems doesn't help.  I've heard, oh, I'll get bored, I'm afraid I'll get seasick, I can't swim, I'm afraid to be where I can't see land, what about norovirus, what if the ship wrecks?  etc. etc.

 

I've heard those very same excuses.  I tried to organize a family cruise, and got nowhere.  Most of the time I sail solo, and I've been asked several times why I don't have any friends.  What the heck!  

[Floridiana]

We don't ask anybody to cruise with us, except once a year, we do a 10 - 12 night cruise with our son and his wife; they are a delightful couple. 

[Dan M.]

On 10/3/2019 at 9:30 PM, SantaFeFan said:

 

A 3rd reason is probably just as relevant - they don't want to, or cannot, spend so much money. Not everyone has enough extra money laying around to take expensive vacations. They may want to, but can't justify the cost at the time. 

Have you ever heard, " The boat goes too slow??!?"  I have...  sheesh!

 

dlm

[ldubs]

1 minute ago, Dan M. said:

Have you ever heard, " The boat goes too slow??!?"  I have...  sheesh!

 

dlm

 

Or, "cruising is for old people".  Double sheesh!  Haha

[clo]

14 minutes ago, ldubs said:

 

Or, "cruising is for old people".  Double sheesh!  Haha

Almost 20 years ago we did our first very few cruises and came away unimpressed and said 'hey, we'll do this again when we're old."  LOL.

Edited October 5, 2019 by clo
correction