Rare Eddie99 Posted October 31, 2020 #7676 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Weather due to improve from midweek Its shocking this morning. Puppy class was reduced to just two pups, their mums and one trainer. Nearly one to one tuition. It was persisting it down but the pups were so good and concentrated hard. Mine is spark out now, till her belly lets her known it’s lunch time No further plans for the day. I’ve amended my shopping order for delivery tomorrow - added a couple bars of chocolate as compensation for the rain! Have the best day you can, everyone 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adawn47 Posted October 31, 2020 #7677 Share Posted October 31, 2020 1 hour ago, kalos said: Dont worry Avril , all you need is a diet instructor You could ask Brian ,his diet looks good for keeping slim .. Losing weight ? .... A piece of cake , if you ask him . Thanks kalos, but I'll worry about it after Christmas. I'll just ignore those lying scales for now. If they get lonely they might decide to stop being so rude and tell the truth😇 Avril 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyMichelle Posted October 31, 2020 #7678 Share Posted October 31, 2020 6 minutes ago, Adawn47 said: Thanks kalos, but I'll worry about it after Christmas. I'll just ignore those lying scales for now. If they get lonely they might decide to stop being so rude and tell the truth😇 Avril My mate is in trouble... His wife sent him out with the instruction to get some of those pills that would give him an erection... He came back and handed her some diet pills... Boy, is he in the dog house... Andy 😊 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeanlyon Posted October 31, 2020 #7679 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Andy, so are you!! You might be banned!! xx 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Peterson Posted October 31, 2020 #7680 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Shamelessly lifted from another part of these forums - how true they are I have no idea, but some of them are quite amusing. HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????>> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?>> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?>> WITNESS: My name is Susan!>> _______________________________>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?>> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?>> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?>> WITNESS: July 18th.>> ATTORNEY: What year?>> WITNESS: Every year.>> _____________________________________>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?>> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?>> WITNESS: Forty-five years.>> _________________________________>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?>> WITNESS: Yes.>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?>> WITNESS: I forget..>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?>> ___________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?>> ____________________________________>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?>> WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.>> ___________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?>> WITNESS: Are you shitting me?>> _________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?>> WITNESS: Yes.>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?>> WITNESS: Getting laid>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?>> WITNESS: Yes.>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?>> WITNESS: None.>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?>> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?>> WITNESS: By death..>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?>> WITNESS: Take a guess.>> ___________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?>> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.>> _____________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.>> ______________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?>> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.>> _________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?>> WITNESS: Oral...>> _________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?>> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?>> WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?>> ______________________________________>> And last:>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?>> WITNESS: No.>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?>> WITNESS: No.>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?>> WITNESS: No..>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?>> WITNESS: No.>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.>> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 5 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josy1953 Posted October 31, 2020 #7681 Share Posted October 31, 2020 49 minutes ago, jeanlyon said: Andy, so are you!! You might be banned!! xx I hope not, we need Andy's humour. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeanlyon Posted October 31, 2020 #7682 Share Posted October 31, 2020 We certainly do. I'm still laughing at some of Harry's stuff above! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ann141 Posted October 31, 2020 #7683 Share Posted October 31, 2020 1 hour ago, Harry Peterson said: Shamelessly lifted from another part of these forums - how true they are I have no idea, but some of them are quite amusing. HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????>> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?>> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?>> WITNESS: My name is Susan!>> _______________________________>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?>> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?>> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?>> WITNESS: July 18th.>> ATTORNEY: What year?>> WITNESS: Every year.>> _____________________________________>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?>> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?>> WITNESS: Forty-five years.>> _________________________________>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?>> WITNESS: Yes.>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?>> WITNESS: I forget..>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?>> ___________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?>> ____________________________________>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?>> WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.>> ___________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?>> WITNESS: Are you shitting me?>> _________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?>> WITNESS: Yes.>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?>> WITNESS: Getting laid>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?>> WITNESS: Yes.>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?>> WITNESS: None.>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?>> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?>> WITNESS: By death..>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?>> WITNESS: Take a guess.>> ___________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?>> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.>> _____________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.>> ______________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?>> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.>> _________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?>> WITNESS: Oral...>> _________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?>> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.>> ____________________________________________>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?>> WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?>> ______________________________________>> And last:>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?>> WITNESS: No.>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?>> WITNESS: No.>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?>> WITNESS: No..>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?>> WITNESS: No.>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.>> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. Its great to have something to make us laugh at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplesea Posted October 31, 2020 #7684 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Well, I've been feeling low all day. Even Harry's post couldn't raise a smile! My daughter rang earlier too to say she is going to skip the lockdown and go to Greece. I'm now feeling even more down! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeanlyon Posted October 31, 2020 #7685 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Nooooo, cheer up. Can't have you feeling down. Where in the South West are you? I'm in the South Hams. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Presto2 Posted October 31, 2020 #7686 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Hi, just to say that, whatever the news I know that here on CC we will all see it out together. Stay safe everyone and let's all keep in touch ---- even the ones who sometimes step back a while . x 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Presto2 Posted October 31, 2020 #7687 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Have you just seen the clip from Downing Street and seen the cat standing on guard -------------- sooooooo funny!!! More confidence now, the cat is in control !!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalos Posted October 31, 2020 #7688 Share Posted October 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Presto2 said: Have you just seen the clip from Downing Street and seen the cat standing on guard -------------- sooooooo funny!!! More confidence now, the cat is in control !!!! Rumour has it the cat wrote the speech Hence the paws 7 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Presto2 Posted October 31, 2020 #7689 Share Posted October 31, 2020 4 minutes ago, kalos said: Rumour has it the cat wrote the speech Hence the paws Such a puuuuurrrrrrrrfeeect response 😉 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Eddie99 Posted October 31, 2020 #7690 Share Posted October 31, 2020 However, there are other important clawses 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalos Posted October 31, 2020 #7691 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Come On Boris ! ..."Trick Or Speech " 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Presto2 Posted October 31, 2020 #7692 Share Posted October 31, 2020 PS Do love you folk and will never forget our Lockdown Covid 19 days without remembering being part of this forum ----- I now think we need to open some betting re when this announcement is going to be --- even though we know what he is going to say ??????/ If we get loads of data we are turning to Star Trek ----------- you have to be a Trekkie to get that one 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Presto2 Posted October 31, 2020 #7693 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Good grief , they are here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalos Posted October 31, 2020 #7694 Share Posted October 31, 2020 9 minutes ago, Presto2 said: Do love you folk and will never forget our Lockdown Covid 19 days without remembering being part of this forum Awwww ..Next slide please ! Which shows the "AWWW " rate going up on this forum .. Very infectious cos we all love you as well 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Eddie99 Posted October 31, 2020 #7695 Share Posted October 31, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Presto2 Posted October 31, 2020 #7696 Share Posted October 31, 2020 4 minutes ago, Eddie99 said: That's the one --- sooooooo funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Eddie99 Posted October 31, 2020 #7697 Share Posted October 31, 2020 That’s deffo Larry 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrierjohn Posted October 31, 2020 #7698 Share Posted October 31, 2020 34 minutes ago, Eddie99 said: That looks more like Larry than Palmerston. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Eddie99 Posted October 31, 2020 #7699 Share Posted October 31, 2020 It’s Larry He’s tabby & white Palmerston is your classic tuxedo cat - b&w 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted October 31, 2020 #7700 Share Posted October 31, 2020 VID-20201031-WA0001.mp4 VID-20201031-WA0000.mp4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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