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Royal Caribbean Cruisers -- How Are Things Where You Are? (was "Routine" ​ 😁 ​day in lockdown... how was yours?)

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HBE4

HBE4

Posted
Posted (edited)

Rest In Peace, Mrs HBE4.

 

Last month, about a week before Thanksgiving, my wife joined the angels in heaven. It’s been a long 19-month journey that I’ve mentioned in the past, I know some here remember the story, others might have missed it and perhaps a few more might not remember all the details.  As I find talking and writing about it to be therapeutic, I’m going to summarize it. For those that are not into that kind of thing, now might be a good time to hit the Page Down button a few times. No hard feelings, I promise.  

 

Easter Sunday Morning, 2021, I was awakened by my wife to call 911 as she could not breathe. I did and the operator had me perform CPR while awaiting the paramedics. Medically speaking, I’m pretty sure my wife died in my arms that morning as when the paramedics arrived, she was not breathing and they could not find a pulse. Through their heroic efforts, they were able to revive her but too much time had passed. My wife suffered a irreversible Anoxic Brain Injury (oxygen deprivation to the brain cells) due to a massive blood clot in her lungs that also caused a heart attack. She was left in an “unaware and unresponsive state”, basically one step above a coma and a nice way of saying a vegetative state.  My fingers still cringe when typing that.

 

The injury to her brain would be permanent. I consulted at least a half-a-dozen neurologists and brain injury specialists from a half-a-dozen different hospitals and brain injury rehabilitation centers but the conclusion was always the same. There was no pathway to a “meaningful recovery”.  Oh, there would be a glimpse of a sliver of hope once in a while.  While 90% of the time her eyes would be closed, when they opened, sometimes there would be a flicker of recognition, of life behind those eyes. Most of the time, a blank stare at the ceiling. Still, I visited 5-6 days a week, 1-3 hours at time, talking, reading, playing music or just holding her hand while watching our favorite TV shows.   I’m not sure there was ever a “conscience awareness” but maybe an emotional one. When whispering sweet nothings in her ear, tears would flow from her eyes. The last time this happened was this past Sept when I told my wife that her daughter was going to take me out to NYC for my birthday, for dinner and a Broadway play and drinks afterwards. I’m sure that warmed her heart and the tears of happiness flowed that night.  That as the last time I saw any kind of response.

 

With recovery no longer a consideration, thoughts turned to comfort care and dignity which quickly turned to thoughts of how to end this. (Tangent: in New York State, not many options).  On Nov. 6th, on what was our 29th wedding anniversary, I told her she was free to join her parents and older sister in heaven. Less than 2 weeks later, she took the worse, most heart-breaking choice a spouse could make out of my hands and slipped away, on her own terms and time line. The best gift she could have possibly given me.

 

I was out of town when it happened and was beside myself when I got the call. But the next day, an amazing sense of calm and serenity came over me. I can’t call it relief but just sense of peacefulness.  The outpouring of support I received from close friends and family, as well as people I’ve barely spoken to in 20+ years and those that I hardly know, is a true testament to her and her life.

 

Thank you all here for your concern and good wishes. I know I’ve been tagged in several posts which many people in turned acknowledged via the “like” button or by replying to said post. I read the discussion about respecting a person’s privacy vs finding out what happens to a poster when they suddenly no longer post. Speaking only for myself, it is heart-warming to know that my absence was noticed and felt and people I’ve never met were concerned for my well-being. So again, thank you, It’s been a whirlwind 3 weeks and just now being able to catch my breath. I’m here & I’m okay-ish.

 

  Side note: Should I ever purposely decide to stop posting here, I will definitely post a farewell message.

 

@Tree_skier @grapau27 @Coralc @dani negreanu @reallyitsmema @Sunshine3601 @lenquixote66

Edited by HBE4
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HBE4

HBE4

Posted
Posted

On a happier, more upbeat note - as this is a cruising forum - I’d figured I’d share that our last cruise was 4 years ago, Nov 2018. It was to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. Once married, I not only gained a wife but a daughter as well, in what I call a “2-for-the-price-of-1” package deal.  It only made sense to include my step-daughter on the cruise as well.  As she was living in Houston, TX at the time, we decided to sail out of Galveston on Liberty of the Seas.  Which brought us full circle as Liberty was our first ever cruise ship back in 2009 in which we fell in love with cruising. After the 2nd day of that first cruise, we looked at each other and asked: "Why have we not been doing this our entire lives?" What the heck, here are a few pictures from the 2018 cruise.

 

Me and the Mrs.

 

1338231247_MetheMrs..thumb.jpg.51e114bde478e18ce4cd6f31b1f563f3.jpg

 

 

My wife and her daughter. It was her daughters first time ever cruising and sadly, the only time she’d cruise with her mom.  So excited we were to share our cruising experiences with her, to see it thru her eyes, it was like we were on our first cruise all over again.  All three of us refer to it as the best vacation we’ve ever had, of any vacations with anybody our entire lives.

 

112679698_MomandDaugter.thumb.jpg.8bebc916010abac69a9ba7b0b7a52f62.jpg

 

 

Me and Little Miss HBE4.  She was 4 years old when I first started dating her mom, 11 when I married her mom and since then, has always referred to me as her “real dad” vs her “biological dad” that drifted in and out of her life. All these years later, she is not the least bit ashamed, and dare I say, actually enjoys hanging with dear old step-dad.  

 

1925626045_SDI.thumb.jpeg.c14ed10c20e16344dabe6d2b2fcc432a.jpeg

 

 

This picture is nicknamed “Pompous HBE4” as I proudly show off the 2 lovely ladies in my life. Blessed am I.

 

112564934_PompousMe.jpg.04a8a013735c4093a35b62c48cfc9ddb.jpg

 

This last picture would sum us up as who we are as a famliy. My wife had a zest for life, always the glass-is-half-full, “Life Is Good” attitude. I fully intend to live life as she would want me to. Cheers to all the kind folks on this thread!

 

Cheers.jpg.78535c88fe3b0d7a5e7641546717bbf5.jpg

 

 

 

 

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Coralc

Coralc

Posted
Posted (edited)

Okay. I am crying now. Even though I don't know you. Thank you for letting us know. I know this has been a horribly difficult time for you, for over a year and a half. Your wife and daughter are gorgeous, and you are handsome and witty! You didn't look at all as I expected. There is a little bit of relief involved I'm sure, but I am so sorry for your loss. What a scary, horrible thing to have happened to her. 

I was afraid it was bad news. 

Edited by Coralc
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grapau27

grapau27

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, HBE4 said:

Rest In Peace, Mrs HBE4.

 

Last month, about a week before Thanksgiving, my wife joined the angels in heaven. It’s been a long 19-month journey that I’ve mentioned in the past, I know some here remember the story, others might have missed it and perhaps a few more might not remember all the details.  As I find talking and writing about it to be therapeutic, I’m going to summarize it. For those that are not into that kind of thing, now might be a good time to hit the Page Down button a few times. No hard feelings, I promise.  

 

Easter Sunday Morning, 2021, I was awakened by my wife to call 911 as she could not breathe. I did and the operator had me perform CPR while awaiting the paramedics. Medically speaking, I’m pretty sure my wife died in my arms that morning as when the paramedics arrived, she was not breathing and they could not find a pulse. Through their heroic efforts, they were able to revive her but too much time had passed. My wife suffered a irreversible Anoxic Brain Injury (oxygen deprivation to the brain cells) due to a massive blood clot in her lungs that also caused a heart attack. She was left in an “unaware and unresponsive state”, basically one step above a coma and a nice way of saying a vegetative state.  My fingers still cringe when typing that.

 

The injury to her brain would be permanent. I consulted at least a half-a-dozen neurologists and brain injury specialists from a half-a-dozen different hospitals and brain injury rehabilitation centers but the conclusion was always the same. There was no pathway to a “meaningful recovery”.  Oh, there would be a glimpse of a sliver of hope once in a while.  While 90% of the time her eyes would be closed, when they opened, sometimes there would be a flicker of recognition, of life behind those eyes. Most of the time, a blank stare at the ceiling. Still, I visited 5-6 days a week, 1-3 hours at time, talking, reading, playing music or just holding her hand while watching our favorite TV shows.   I’m not sure there was ever a “conscience awareness” but maybe an emotional one. When whispering sweet nothings in her ear, tears would flow from her eyes. The last time this happened was this past Sept when I told my wife that her daughter was going to take me out to NYC for my birthday, for dinner and a Broadway play and drinks afterwards. I’m sure that warmed her heart and the tears of happiness flowed that night.  That as the last time I saw any kind of response.

 

With recovery no longer a consideration, thoughts turned to comfort care and dignity which quickly turned to thoughts of how to end this. (Tangent: in New York State, not many options).  On Nov. 6th, on what was our 29th wedding anniversary, I told her she was free to join her parents and older sister in heaven. Less than 2 weeks later, she took the worse, most heart-breaking choice a spouse could make out of my hands and slipped away, on her own terms and time line. The best gift she could have possibly given me.

 

I was out of town when it happened and was beside myself when I got the call. But the next day, an amazing sense of calm and serenity came over me. I can’t call it relief but just sense of peacefulness.  The outpouring of support I received from close friends and family, as well as people I’ve barely spoken to in 20+ years and those that I hardly know, is a true testament to her and her life.

 

Thank you all here for your concern and good wishes. I know I’ve been tagged in several posts which many people in turned acknowledged via the “like” button or by replying to said post. I read the discussion about respecting a person’s privacy vs finding out what happens to a poster when they suddenly no longer post. Speaking only for myself, it is heart-warming to know that my absence was noticed and felt and people I’ve never met were concerned for my well-being. So again, thank you, It’s been a whirlwind 3 weeks and just now being able to catch my breath. I’m here & I’m okay-ish.

 

  Side note: Should I ever purposely decide to stop posting here, I will definitely post a farewell message.

 

@Tree_skier @grapau27 @Coralc @dani negreanu @reallyitsmema @Sunshine3601 @lenquixote66

@HBE4.

I am so sad to hear your dear wife has passed.

Pauline and I send you our prayers 🙏 and sincerest condolences for your loss.

Graham.

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grapau27

grapau27

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, HBE4 said:

On a happier, more upbeat note - as this is a cruising forum - I’d figured I’d share that our last cruise was 4 years ago, Nov 2018. It was to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. Once married, I not only gained a wife but a daughter as well, in what I call a “2-for-the-price-of-1” package deal.  It only made sense to include my step-daughter on the cruise as well.  As she was living in Houston, TX at the time, we decided to sail out of Galveston on Liberty of the Seas.  Which brought us full circle as Liberty was our first ever cruise ship back in 2009 in which we fell in love with cruising. After the 2nd day of that first cruise, we looked at each other and asked: "Why have we not been doing this our entire lives?" What the heck, here are a few pictures from the 2018 cruise.

 

Me and the Mrs.

 

1338231247_MetheMrs..thumb.jpg.51e114bde478e18ce4cd6f31b1f563f3.jpg

 

 

My wife and her daughter. It was her daughters first time ever cruising and sadly, the only time she’d cruise with her mom.  So excited we were to share our cruising experiences with her, to see it thru her eyes, it was like we were on our first cruise all over again.  All three of us refer to it as the best vacation we’ve ever had, of any vacations with anybody our entire lives.

 

112679698_MomandDaugter.thumb.jpg.8bebc916010abac69a9ba7b0b7a52f62.jpg

 

 

Me and Little Miss HBE4.  She was 4 years old when I first started dating her mom, 11 when I married her mom and since then, has always referred to me as her “real dad” vs her “biological dad” that drifted in and out of her life. All these years later, she is not the least bit ashamed, and dare I say, actually enjoys hanging with dear old step-dad.  

 

1925626045_SDI.thumb.jpeg.c14ed10c20e16344dabe6d2b2fcc432a.jpeg

 

 

This picture is nicknamed “Pompous HBE4” as I proudly show off the 2 lovely ladies in my life. Blessed am I.

 

112564934_PompousMe.jpg.04a8a013735c4093a35b62c48cfc9ddb.jpg

 

This last picture would sum us up as who we are as a famliy. My wife had a zest for life, always the glass-is-half-full, “Life Is Good” attitude. I fully intend to live life as she would want me to. Cheers to all the kind folks on this thread!

 

Cheers.jpg.78535c88fe3b0d7a5e7641546717bbf5.jpg

 

 

 

 

Amazing photos of a lovely loving family.

Thank you for posting.

Graham.

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ollienbertsmum Great Review Rare

ollienbertsmum

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, HBE4 said:

Rest In Peace, Mrs HBE4.

 

Last month, about a week before Thanksgiving, my wife joined the angels in heaven. It’s been a long 19-month journey that I’ve mentioned in the past, I know some here remember the story, others might have missed it and perhaps a few more might not remember all the details.  As I find talking and writing about it to be therapeutic, I’m going to summarize it. For those that are not into that kind of thing, now might be a good time to hit the Page Down button a few times. No hard feelings, I promise.  

 

With recovery no longer a consideration, thoughts turned to comfort care and dignity which quickly turned to thoughts of how to end this. (Tangent: in New York State, not many options).  On Nov. 6th, on what was our 29th wedding anniversary, I told her she was free to join her parents and older sister in heaven. Less than 2 weeks later, she took the worse, most heart-breaking choice a spouse could make out of my hands and slipped away, on her own terms and time line. The best gift she could have possibly given me.

 

I was out of town when it happened and was beside myself when I got the call. But the next day, an amazing sense of calm and serenity came over me. I can’t call it relief but just sense of peacefulness.  The outpouring of support I received from close friends and family, as well as people I’ve barely spoken to in 20+ years and those that I hardly know, is a true testament to her and her life. I’m here & I’m okay-ish.

 

  Side note: Should I ever purposely decide to stop posting here, I will definitely post a farewell message.

 

HBE4, I would like to offer my sincere condolences.  It sounds as if you gave your wife the best care available - and more.   You sound close to your daughter, hugs to both of you at this sad time.  

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Sunshine3601

Sunshine3601

Posted
Posted (edited)

@HBE4So sorry for your lose.   May she Rest in Peace. 🙏

Thank you for sharing your story and photos of your beautiful Wife and Daughter.

I'm very happy that your Daughter is with you now. And Leonard the Cat.   Your Wife will always be watching over both of you.  You had been blessed with 28 yrs of love and happiness with your Wife and will have many more with your Daughter.

I hope you and your Daughter souls find peace and happiness in the near future.🦋

 

Edited by Sunshine3601
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Lionesss "Live from...." Rare

Lionesss

Posted
Posted

@HBE4

I was crying as soon as I started reading your update.

First of all my condolences to you and your daughter.

 

As an outsider I can now see how it was a very long road for you, as your wife did not recover.

 

Take care and thanks for sharing with CC.

 

💔

 

 

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Arzeena

Arzeena

Posted
Posted

@HBE4

I am so sorry to read about your wife's passing. Our sincere condolences to you and your daughter.

I loved seeing your pictures. What a lovely family!
You know you will always be in our thoughts. Do check in here whenever you have some time or feel like it.

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TravelGirlinDallas

TravelGirlinDallas

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, HBE4 said:

Speaking only for myself, it is heart-warming to know that my absence was noticed and felt and people I’ve never met were concerned for my well-being. So again, thank you, It’s been a whirlwind 3 weeks and just now being able to catch my breath. I’m here & I’m okay-ish.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved wife and the long, hard journey you went through with her during her final months. Thank you for sharing the lovely photos of your cruise together with your daughter, it was so nice to see all of you after following your story. ❤️

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